The scene: West Hoke Elementary School in Raeford, North Carolina.

The culprit: 4-year-old Jazlyn Zambrano.

The crime: no vegetables in lunch prepared by mother Diane Zambrano.

The punishment: banished from class, sent to lunchroom, 4 chicken nuggets and 4 lashes with a wet noodle (OK, I made the lashes with a noodle part up.)

Turkey sandwich, banana, potato chips, and apple juice…truly a recipe for heart problems.

As ridiculous as it seems, the above lunch was deemed unfit for young Jazlyn by a school lunch inspector whose job it is to make sure that lunches contain certain food groups. In my day peanut butter and jelly and Ring Dings, were an adequate lunch. Not only adequate, Ring Dings were great leverage when trading for others’ lunchtime snacks.

Alas, those days are long behind us thanks to Michelle Obama and the West Hoke food police.

"The Easter Rabbit will be required to hand out carrot sticks, Santa Clause will receive no cookies- just a plate of greens and soy milk, and birthday cakes will soon be just a tale of lure as now our kids share a birthday spinach bowl." PHOTO CREDIT: Jessica Zummo

We have a President who smokes yet tells us smoking is bad, the Obama’s are seen on TV cramming burgers and fries down their gullets, we are told to conserve energy when it takes 3 jets to bring the First family to vacations throughout the world, and now… kids are having lunches inspected.

I don’t know what is worse, having a child’s lunch seized and then sent for the long walk to the lunch room, or having kids patted down by TSA agents at the airport.

Things have gotten way out of hand. Soon smuggling a Hershey bar into school will get the child 3 years of hard labor on an the organic farm. Even prisoners of war were allotted a certain amount of foods that included chocolates and candies. If the child’s lunch was a Pudding Shack, Swedish fish and a Red Bull, I can see why such a lunch might come into question.

Soon pat downs by lunch ladies, who are a scary bunch, will be required in all schools.

Where the hell is the ACLU on this one?

This is just another reason private schools and home schooling are looking so tempting. The hypocrisy in our society runs deep. The Easter Rabbit will be required to hand out carrot sticks, Santa Clause won’t receive any cookies- just a plate of greens and soy milk, and birthday cakes will soon be just a tale of lure as now our kids share a birthday spinach bowl. The temptation of a carrot on a stick will remain the same.

It is hard not to be ridiculous when writing a story on perhaps the most ridiculous over-stepping of government in recent memory.